I drank the Twilight kool-aid. My only defense is is way back in 2006 when I worked in a library the book passed through my hands several times. A huge fan of vampires, I wasn’t (and really am still not) a fan of vampire fiction. However, the book intrigued me, but I kept putting it off with a “maybe one day” attitude. It wasn’t until the movie was coming out that I stopped and asked what all the hoopla was about. When I saw the cover of the book, my only reaction was, “Oh yeah, I was going to read that.” So I read it. I will start off by saying that it is terrible romantic trash with a new approach to vampire lore (they sparkle in the sun for crying out loud) and I LOVE it. Yeah, yeah, shut up. I know you liked it too, I just have big enough balls to admit it. Without further adieu, this is what to expect from the pages of Stephenie Meyer’s ever so popular saga:
Twilight (2005)- Bella Swan is just an average teen that goes to live with her father in Forks, WA after her mother remarries. Although she is the object of affection for the boys in town, none hold her interest until she sees the mysterious Cullen family (composed of 4 siblings, and 2 “parents” [not present currently] none related to one another, but coupled up) in the lunch room. All very pale skinned and absolutely stunningly beautiful, she can’t help but be entranced by them. In a strange twist of fate, she ends up as Edward Cullen’s Biology lab partner. He is seemingly both terrified and angry with her and disappears for a few days. He comes back in his full glory and decides that he will finally talk to her, which thus begins their friendship. Upon a near-fatal accident, Edward saves Bella and because she can’t just let things be, she starts to investigate what the Cullens really are. Fueled by legends from a boy named Jacob who lives in La Push, the Native American Quilete Reservation, and some internet research, she puts the puzzle pieces together-the Cullens-are hold your breath-vampires! She confronts Edward, he confesses that the scent of her blood drives him truly mad, but has such a draw to her emotionally that he can’t kill her or see her harmed in any way. I forgot a few things also-Edward can read minds but he can not read Bella’s which is frustrating to him and also why he’s drawn to her so. Alice, Edward’s “sister” can see the future, but the outcomes are subjective, they can change at any time. Jasper, Alice’s other half, can control the emotions around him, example, he can calm the room down if there is a lot of tension. Finally, the Cullens are “vegetarians” meaning they only drink the blood of animals. The relationship begins to blossom between Edward and Bella and they fall in love. Awwww. Now the only thing Bella can think about is becoming a vampire just like Edward and his family. When a nomad vampire threatens Bella’s life, it’s a testament as to how far Edward and the rest of the Cullens will go to help save her.
New Moon (2006), however, serves up a nice surprise. After Jasper tries to kill Bella when she cuts her finger due to his blood lust (he wasn’t always a “vegetarian”), Edward breaks up with her and skips town. Torn apart for months, Bella turns into a zombie. Not a real one, geez, this isn’t The Walking Dead, but just emotionally numb. She seeks solace in welcoming danger and adrenaline which leads her back to the La Push to hang out with Jacob (or Jake) where he repairs two motorcycles for them to ride. They become best friends and she starts to heal, possibly even falling in love with Jake. Some changes happen to Jake, like a vast amount of puberty sets in and it turns out that because of the vampires nearby an old Quilete lineage erupts and creates a pack of werewolves (or shape shifters that just so happened to take the form of a wolf) that are to protect their people from the “Cold Ones.” Jake is among those that were part of the lineage and so starts his fate. Eventually Bella figures that one out too, but wants Jacob to remain in her life as her best friend. He wants to be more than friends and Bella is about to take that opportunity when news about one of her adrenaline experiments, cliff diving, travels wrong and fast. Alice only sees Bella jump, but does not see Jake save her because Alice is unable to see the werewolves’ futures. This outcome sets forth the motions of a crap ton of running against time and the possible end of someone’s life.
Eclipse (2007)-Edward is back in Bella’s life after his almost-suicide in Italy upon hearing about her “death.” Vampire army is being created to destroy Bella and the Cullens. Jacob vs. Edward. Edward is being a chump about certain things, those being partaking in all human physical activities with Bella because he does not want to risk killing her. His lust, his strength, his inability to know his threshold all hold her safety in his hands. Anyway, Bella questions her feelings for Jake. Edward proposes, his condition being marriage for him to turn Bella into a vampire. Enough said. Still, probably the best book out of the four because it offers a lot of the emotion and physical stuff that everyone was waiting for, but it still doesn’t progress farther than just a few kisses. We don’t get to read about the big fight because Bella is not in the clearing while it goes on, but there is a chilling surprise waiting on the mountain with her. A few other things happen on the mountain as well between her and Jake, but you are just going to have to read the book to find out what that is…
Breaking Dawn (2008)-marriage + sex with a vampire=vampire baby growing in human body. Vampire baby almost kills mommy, but mommy is saved at the last minute by finally getting what she wants-becoming a vampire. Yay! No more incessant whining about how Bella wants to be a vampire and how Edward won’t change her. Kind of a harsh lesson that Mrs. Meyer is trying to convey to her audience-don’t have the intercourse until marriage and generally unprotected sex with a vampire can still ultimately lead to an infant. The crux of that being that once Bella tastes the forbidden fruit of sex, she wants to stay human for a while longer because now she wants to experience more of what being human feels like. Too bad, she got knocked up. My favorite little tidbit is when Edward asks Jacob to convince Bella to have an abortion so Jacob can knock her up! Yep folks, you read that right. Edward does indeed ask Jake to impregnate Bella if having a baby is worth that much to her. Insert a big “WTF” and a “lucky bitch” in here. Jake’s words failed and Bella wins her argument. Now a bigger war is coming for the Cullens’ destruction because yet again, bad news travels fast of the wrongfully accused. Whatever, the wedding still makes me weepy and Jacob gets his happy ending with an unexpected someone.
So by reading this and all the semi smart-ass remarks about the story lines you’re probably wondering, “I thought Dandy loves these books.” I do, I truly do. I’m currently rereading them for the fourth(?) time and watching the corresponding movie after each book. They never get old to me, but it is good to reread them with a different state of mind and get fresh perspectives on them. I will admit that Bella is a complainer and sometimes rather selfish and Edward is, well, a chump, but you can not deny his undying love and devotion for Bella. I’m still Team Edward though, but they needed Jacob to put in some competition. Apparently most women swoon over the two-guys-fighting-over-one-chick thing so you have to go where your audience wants you to go. Stephenie mentioned that Jacob wasn’t going to be a major character in the series, but he just sort of evolved. Everyone is supposed to relate to Bella in some sort of way because she is just an “ordinary” girl. However, I often war with myself thinking that no one is really supposed to like Bella all that much, just a new theory I am working on. Think about that one and I invite you to share your thoughts.
You probably also noticed that my synopses of the books get more whittled down as I touched on the third and fourth books. That is because once you get the details from books one and two, the rest is all gravy and does not need extra explanation. Except for the other Cullens. There are Carlisle and Esme, the “parents” who are “good people” and Rosalie and Emmett, the other two siblings who are just kind of there. I won’t even get into the other werewolves in La Push or the Volturi vampires in Italy. Read the books for all that info. Anyway, the series has come to an end and so will this blog because sadly I can talk for hours about this. I hear they have discussions about doing a television series (please don’t).
sogooditsscary2 